Rooney staying!

Wow, what a crazy world we live in! After the agony and controversy over the last week, we learn today that Rooney has executed the mother of all U-turns and signed a 5 year deal with the club. I would like to postulate the events that led up to this conclusion. There are many theories out there, and none of them can be confirmed in any way simply because WE DON'T KNOW ENOUGH. I have some realistic and some utterly insane theories in mind, which I will post soon, one by one. Watch this space.